I don't think you need worry about the 'emotional side of dance' until you have mastered the basics. You say you have been only dancing a few months so work on the steps, footwork, posture, turns and walks before worrying about anything else. Arms in latin can be very expressive but they take work not to look mechanical. Often women don't want to put the work in. Your 'inner tigress' can be released when you can dance.

I Don't think that this part is important unless you re doing for a special OCCAISON

There is a famous book (some people call it "the bible") by Alex Moore, with the simple title "Ballroom Dancing," that you should read. (Alex Moore is English and the figures he describes are International style, not American, but his explanation of technique applies to all types of ballroom dancing.) There is a little section in the back of the book with the title "Expression in Dancing" that is what you want.

That does not mean you should ignore the advice others have posted about learning proper technique first. (Again from Moore's book: "The secret of the successful study of this book has nothing to do with the ability to remember such technical details as the numbers of the steps on which CBM, Rise and Sway occur. Rather it is the ability to understand why they occur." When you get to that point, then you may be ready for "expression.")

Our favorite dance instructor used to say that "Dance is a feeling."

Sorry ahead of time if this sounds rude but dance is what you should be focusing on not on playing an emotional game. If it is an emotional game your looking for perhaps you should seek professional advice on getting the attention and help you need.If you perceive other people's honest dilemma's as a way to enhance your own life you should consider not using a dance studio as an outlet for your needs. A dance studio just wants people to go dance and enjoy the experience.

Your instructor shouldn't be manipulating you and you shouldn't be okay with it. You shouldn't want to play back. You should find an instructor who can keep you interested because he is an amazing teacher. You aren't paying for someone to jerk your emotions around, you should be paying for someone to teach you proper technique.

I love my instructor and over the years we have grown quite close. He has never manipulated me and if he ever did our dancing relationship would be quite over. If I am competing or performing do we sizzle....yes....but only, I REPEAT ONLY on the dance floor while performing for others.